Tipping the Balance
by Tabi Caracu
Summary: Shuichi can only take so much in his life. What is wrong with one little flaw that he has? He was good...but one little mistake on many peoples parts and everything was set off balance. What is the cost?
1. Chapter 1

Tipping the Balance

Shuichi felt that his heart was going to explode; he rushed down the street towards his home. Sometimes he knocked down a passerby, but that only fueled his heart ache.

The day was beautiful, and perfect. Except when you looked off into the distance you could see the gray, and black clouds of an oncoming storm. If poetry could describe the life of Shuichi. It would be a blue sky lined with dark clouds, like today.

Would Yuki be there when he was home? Probably not, he almost was never home when he got there anymore. Shuichi took the stairs instead of the elevator; they were just faster like that.

He huffed and puffed, a stitch made its way into Shuichi's side, but he ignored it. He skipped two steps at a time till he

He entered the apartment and called out: "I'm home!" He hoped his desperate tone didn't shine through his voice. But just as he expected there was nothing, but he felt a pang in his chest, and he coughed.

He collapsed to his knee's in this coughing fit, but he had to make it to his destination...

_Just this once….after that, I'll be fine. _He staggered to the bathroom where his blade was kept. He never did this when Yuki was home, or in an area without it being specially ready just in case he was interrupted.

Locking the door behind him, he let his tears fall that had been choking him.

It was stupid to be getting into a situation like this, but this morning had really gotten to him…

_It was early in the morning and Shuichi yawned, stretching as he looked at Yuki. He smiled and kissed his cheek. _

_It wasn't often that he woke up before his love, so it was a real treat to see his sleeping face, the little rays of light that cast a shadow over Yuki's face caused his golden hair to glow and his face look like an angel's. 'I think I'll make him breakfast.'_

_Shuichi snuck out of bed and went to the kitchen. It wasn't that he didn't know HOW to cook…it was that he just didn't do it often….because the last time he tried at Hiro's he nearly caught the place of fire._

_But all he was going to do was make coffee just the way Yuki liked it and some cereal. Maybe even toast. _

_He could do toast._

_He was doing everything he was supposed to. How could things of gone so wrong?_

_It started with him spilling the new cereal on the floor. Luckily he hadn't gotten out the milk, but then he managed somehow to burn the toast. The smoke was everywhere. _

_By the time Shuichi could see: It was nothing, but a dark blob of ash. So he dumped it in the trash along with the ruined cereal._

_Shuichi really hoped his coffee was going to come out right. This day wasn't getting any better. He checked on the dripping pot. The color looked right. Good. He was NOT going to mess this up._

_He opened the cupboard for the sugar, and cream. Maybe he could add just a little honey to it as well._

_Yuki walked in, his eyes tired looking and he looked around his messed up kitchen, then in the trash to see burnt toast, and cereal._

_"What the Hell were you trying to make?" _

_Shuichi laughed a little bit hesitantly. "I just wanted to make you breakfast Yuki…" He laughed again the sugar and honey in his hands. He went to the ready pot of coffee Pouring in a cup carefully then did everything he was supposed to._

_"At least I finished the coffee right!" He called out. _

_But Yuki had gone back to his study to type. "Yu~uki!" Shuichi crooned, him entering the study._

_After that was when everything had gone wrong. Shuichi tripped over something, causing the drink to fall from his hands and spill on some of Yuki's papers and books._

_There weren't words for how furious Yuki was. At least this time he let Yuki get ready for work before he kicked him out of the house. _

_Yuki had mumbled something that Shuichi wasn't supposed to hear…but he had heard it anyway. "That damn brat…my life would be ten times easier without him."_

_That wasn't even the half of it. He got to work, but couldn't concentrate at all._

_Hiro was talking to Ayaka over text, and Suguru left early since this practice session was getting nowhere._

_Even K was getting at the end of his rope, him staring down Shuichi with his precious firearm at the ready._

_During this time Shuichi was working on a brand new song, but the more he wrote the more his heart was swelling, and his stomach opened to the dark pit._

_That was when he should've gone home so he could calm down as to not get this far, but he had wanted so desperately to get the song done…_

_He wanted to finish so he could do SOMETHING right that day. Everyone was counting on him. By the end of the day he had a majority of the song done, but the rest of it was at a lost of what he was supposed to do.._

It just seems that he could only mess things up. He held himself as he cried and looked at his blade turning to so there was a flash of light.

If he used this he would mess everything up. It had been almost half a year since he used it last. What if he cut to deep…?

_Even worse….What would Yuki think….? _Shuichi just cried harder, silently of course in case Yuki came home.

Oh, how he had wanted to tell Yuki what he had done during the worst of their turmoil.

_He would hate you if he knew. _Shuichi clutched at his chest. This was the worst…how could let his feelings build up so badly…Again he looked at the blade. No…no he wouldn't….

Hiro…he needed to talk to Hiro.

He put the knife down and shakily dialed the number he could phone in his sleep.

There was the continual ringing of the phone and his heart was plummeting when his best friend wasn't picking up.

"Yes Shu..?" Hiro sounded slightly annoyed. Not good.

"I…I just needed a friend to talk to."

There was a sigh, and then he heard a few muffled sounds; like he was talking to someone else with the phone away from his mouth.

Shuichi just had this feeling that the other person he was talking to was Ayaka-chan….great. Now he's messed up their date.

Shuichi clutched at the phone and he sat in the tub. His breath hitched a little; there wasn't any sound, hand his best friend hung up on him…?

"What's the matter little buddy?"

Shuichi relaxed a little at hearing that voice. "Yuki and I got in a fight this morning…and now he's not here."  
>There was silence. Shuichi waited. "What happened?"<p>

Shuichi felt the tears flow again as he recanted the story of this morning. "Well I could understand him being angry. Those could've been important things you spilled the coffee on….huh? What- hold up! Sorry little buddy…I gotta go for a bit. I'll call you later." The phone line went dead and Shuichi dropped the phone.

_It's your fault he hates you ya know..._ Shuichi held his stomach and laid his head on his knee's…he couldn't move….it hurt…his heart…his stomach…When even his consciousness admitted it…he needed to do it now…

Shuichi reached out for the knife he had placed on the toilet and looked at it. The shiny silver blade, was like a greeting from an old friend. His parents had given it to him a long time ago, but only until he started bad luck did he never need it.

Since Yuki came into his life, there was no need…unless Yuki pushed him away, which in the beginning was a lot.

He lifted his shirt and exposed his stomach that showed only light scars from his careful cutting.

It was easy to lie about them as easily since he was so clumsy.

Suichi never cut in the same place. It was always too obvious and people would ask questions.

When he cut the way he did it was always calculated. What would be his excuse..? What place would be the most believable for it…

Shuichi smiled lightly. Later that day he would go to the park and explore the woods. Then if someone asked him about the 'scratch' he would tell them that he had a snag on his stomach from a twig.

He touched the blade to his stomach gently, but thought to take off his clothes first so they wouldn't get stained with blood. He never cut deep, but it was enough for there to be a good blood flow for at least a minute.

He stepped out of the tub and pulled off his body throwing them wherever. He looked at himself in the mirror.

He saw himself…he saw the tears as they fell. He saw a pathetic being that was a waste of space in the one person he loved most of all's life.

But he knew most of all, once this session with his blade was over he could go back to being who he was: The spunky optimistic lead vocalist of Bad Luck, also the lover of Eiri Yuki.

He moved back to the tub, but somehow he slipped on his shirt causing him to fall.

With a thud the bubblegum haired SHuichi landed on his side.

His head was spinning badly. Then he noticed something red was leaking onto the white porcelain of the bottom of the tub.

The knife was still in his hand. Then he felt a burning pain on his thigh. He heard a scream, but he didn't realize it was from him. What was causing this pain? Then he realized where exactly his hands was...where his hand with his blade was.

Burning pain flowed through him, pulsing with his heartbeat. He thrashed. Pulling his knife out of his flesh. It was too much pain... it was just too much. His vision was blackening at the edges.

There was no more use in staying awake, so he rested his cheek on the porcelain tub to sleep. While he was under the spell of unconsciousness something inside him spoke to him.

_Maybe this is a good thing. You've cut yourself, and now you might not wake up. Everyone could go one with their lives. Hiro can date Ayaka without you bothering them with your silly problems, Suguru can join a band he actually likes, and Yuki no longer will have to deal with you._

"Y…Yu…ki…"

**hehehehee Will Shu-chan survive? Weeell You, as the reader of this story should give me the inspiration to type the next chapter to find out! Remember: Read review and Rainbows need rain! Until next time~ ;)  
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	2. Chapter 2

Scaling the Situation

Yuki held a bag from a convince store, a majority of it filled with pocky…of all sorts of flavors.

He sighed, and rubbed the back of his neck. He knew that what Shuichi had done was just an accident, but he needed to be more careful when he was around his stuff.

When he was halfway down the hallway from the elevator he heard a scream.

It was a pained one at that…likes someone was being attacked. The inhuman voice sounded familiar. "Oh God no…"

Yuki rushed to his apartment door and opened it up. It was unlocked. None of the lights were on.

"Shuichi!" He called out, dropping his bag on the floor.

A sickening feeling settled in his bones when silence only answered him. It was like no one was there. He couldn't tell if anyone was here or not.

In a frantic calm he began to look through the rooms, there was no need to be in a full panic. That didn't change the fact that Yuki needed to find him...to make sure he wasn't hurt…or worse.

It was then that he came across the bathroom, and the golden light pooled out of the bottom.

That little clue was like a stone dropping in his stomach, and a weight being lifted off his shoulders at the same time.

"Oi! Shuichi!" He tried to turn the knob, but it was locked. "Shuichi! You damn brat! Open this damn door!" Still no answer.

Yuki widened his eyes then narrowed them and backed up, lifting his leg and he swung a tremendous amount of strength breaking the door frame.

He entered the bathroom and his nostrils flared as the iron scent of blood met him.

"Shuichi!" He called out. Then his line of sight landed on the motionless pale body of the one and only Shuichi…bleeding in the tub.

His normally vibrant pinks hair was limp, and it didn't look like he was breathing.

Without a second thought he whipped out his phone dialing the police to get an ambulance.

Yuki looked for the wound that was causing the bleeding, as the phone rang.

Then he saw the wide gash. Yuki grit his teeth and opened the cabinet with the towels in them.

Grabbing an older one he pressed the fabric against Shuichi's leg to slow down the flow of blood.

_"Police Hotline…what is your emergency?"_

"A boy named Shuichi Shindo is bleeding in my tub. I need an ambulance." His voice was demanding and cold. The truth was that Yuki had no idea if his lover was going to make it through this, in his mind he was freaking out going through each kind of scenario that could go right or wrong.

He gave the operator his address, hung up the phone and placed it beside him, so his other hand could administer pressure.

"Don't you go and die on me Shuichi!"

It was ten minutes until the paramedics came and took over the task of saving Shuichi's life.

Yuki watched them take his lover away, and was about to follow when he saw the glint of metal in the corner of his eye.

Slowly and carefully he picked the blood drenched knife.

He went to the sink and cleaned it off.

Yuki recognized it. This was Shuichi's knife…Yuki gripped the handle and closed the metallic thing, it stuffing it in his pocket.

For what to of had been somewhere close to an hour of waiting Yuki was smoking up a storm. His stress levels were through the roof and he needed answers.

It also didn't help that the two other bimbo's of Bad Luck were in the same waiting room.

Hiro was the one who was showing exactly how Yuki felt.

Hiro for about the hundredth time ran his hand through his hair and looked at the ceiling for something; his eyes looked tired and scared. Not a very good combination.

Sometimes he heard Hiro mutter something about a phone…or maybe he should've known.

If he had ANYTHING to do with this, Yuki was going to be the one to beat the crap out of him.

Finally the doctor came in and the woman was plump…but the kind of plump that looked good, and had curly brown hair as well as doe brown eyes. She looked American.

Hiro stood up and strode over to her. "Is he alright? What's his condition? May we see him?"

She smiled warmly and patted him on the shoulder.

"It's alright he's fine." Her accent defiantly sounded American, but it was hidden pretty well. "I'm Doctor Mae. You're pretty lucky I was here. These doctors didn't have any clue how to make a proper stitch to Shindo-san's wound. He has four, no biggie; though Shindo-san suffered from a gash from a sharp object to his thigh. A couple veins were nicked as well as arteries. It cut deep, but didn't damage any muscle."

She looked at each person who was standing around her. Her gaze landed on Yuki last. "But if he walks on that leg before it's has a chance to heal, the muscle WILL tear. I suggest at least a week with no walking. He is to either stay in bed or use a wheel chair." She paused and giggled a little. "-unless of course his lover would like to carry the damsel."

The doctor didn't direct that comment to anyone and she smiled at them who still looked worried. "Don't worry. Bad luck will have its vocalist back before the next concert. Nakano, Suguru." Then she looked at Yuki. Her eyes looked knowing, but held to pity. Like she knew everything but didn't hate, nor love him. "Ah, Yuki-san I've read your books. Very compelling, but I believe there is something missing in your writing…. The love the characters share. It's….shallow." Again she smiled and looked at everyone.

"I'll tell you when he wakes up so that you can see him."

The young woman made her exit and the tension in the air dissipated automatically.

K, Sakano, and Ryuichi entered. Ryuichi had tears in his eyes and he was holding .

"Is…Is Shu-chan okay?" He hugged the pink bunny rabbit closer to him bracing himself for the answer.

Hiro sighed and went over to the famous vocalist for Nittle grasper. "Shuichi is doing fine. Once he wakes up we can go see him." The brunettes quivering lip turned into a wide smile and nodded.

Sakano was pacing back and forth with a worried expression, him worrying at his lip.

K looked around at the stark white waiting room with the plastic green chairs that didn't match the room at all.

He had one hand on his gun; Yuki was tempted to raise an eyebrow on why no one had taken it away from him, but decided against it for the gesture would be useless.

The group was now together…now all they had to do was wait for Shuichi to wake up.

It was at least half an hour later before Dr. Mae came back. She looked at the group.

"My, my. Like rabbits the group has reproduced." Everyone looked at her strangely and she giggled shaking her head. "It's just a saying."

With one hand she motioned for them to follow, her turning into the ward leading into a white room decorated with bubble wallpaper.

Shuichi was lying under the covers and he looked troubled. His face was pale. An IV drip was connected to a needle in his right hand and his eyes were clouded over, almost as though he wasn't really there.

Ryu stepped forward and he grinned. "Shu-chan~" The look in Shuichi's eyes disappeared a little.

"Hey Ryuichi.." His voice wasn't as vibrant and Yuki frowned. Inwardly he kicked himself. He nearly died. WHY on earth would he sound vibrant and happy?

Ryuichi began to tell him all the things his rabbit told him to do that was fun yesterday.

Hiro walked up beside Shuichi. "Ryuichi…did your stuffed animal really tell you to run down to the store just to buy bird feed..?"

"He did he did!" Ryuichi turned to Hiro with a pouting looking on his face, holding Mr. bear close to him.

Yuki saw that Shuichi was doing his best to act like himself in front of everyone, but Yuki could see through it all.

K and Mr. Sakano made small talk in the corner and Yuki watched it all. Finally they were asked to leave by the nurse. Their time is up.

"I'm not leaving." Yuki simply stated.

"But sir…visiting hours are over."

"I'm his lover. I. Am. Not. Leaving."

"Yuki-san even though you are his lover the rules-"

"I'll sleep in that chair over there. OR I'll leave when I'm done. There won't be any problems, unless of course you are the one who causes them."

The nurse backed up with the harsh look in Yuki's eyes, which shot ice into her viens. "O-of course…just press the nurse call button when you need a nurse for assistance."

With that, the nurse left and Yuki only waited until she closed the door, only then did he turn to Shuichi.

Shuichi wasn't looking at him, but out the window.

"Hey."

Shuichi looked at Yuki then he laughed. "I'm such an idiot aren't I..?"

"Yup." Yuki got out a cigarette and lit it.

"What? You're not supposed to agree with me! You're supposed to say 'No Shuichi you're not an idiot!"

Yuki took a deep drag in then let it out slow and looked at Shuichi in the eyes.

"Why would I do that to someone when they fell on the floor with a knife in their hands?"

Shuichi froze his eyes just screaming 'how did he know?' 'How was I caught?'

Yuki sat himself on the end of the bed and took out the knife. "I found this in your puddle of blood when the paramedics whisked you to the hospital. Mind explaining?"

Shuichi watched the knife warily and he looked away in shame but an innocent expression. "I wasn't doing anything."

Yuki knew he was lying. The look in his eyes, the slight waver in his voice, especially the way he was just too happy while he blew it off.

Yuki simply waited as he thought about the knife.

This obviously wasn't his first time holding the vulgar thing. When Shuichi looked at it there was a glimmer of recognition. He looked guilty. Why would he…wait just a second.

Yuki stood up and stalked to Shuichi's side and he pulled the hospital gown up harshly and fast to expose Shuichi's stomach.

Yuki mentally began to count each light silver, and fading haphazard scar on his belly.

Fourteen….fourteen scars.

Yuki dropped the shirt and he clenched his fists. "I'm going for a walk. Get your story straight by the time I get back."

Yuki rushed out of there without so much as a backward glance.

Shuichi called out for Yuki to stop, but the door slammed shut behind him. Shuichi looked down, and he felt the burning tears coming. The relentless pull on his heart to just let it go.

And he did.

Droplets of the salty hot liquid dripped down onto his hands. Why was it so wrong to have one flaw?

Was it wrong to punish himself for his mistakes by taking a knife to his belly and pretend it was done by his clumsiness, so that no one would worry?

No one ever noticed till now, and he had managed to stop for so long to…

It was perfect. He would wait for his feelings to build up high from all the stress when he was being himself; when it got to much he would punish himself with his knife reminding him he was only human and that it was okay.

When he met Yuki he knew he had to stop…but occasionally the need for his own punishment got worse.

Everything changed. He knew as long as he had Yuki he didn't need the knife…so why? Why? After all this time did things have to go out of balance from the way he treated himself…

Hiro watched as Yuki stormed out of the hospital like he knew he would.

"Yuki."

The blond looked in his direction with utter disdain, and took out another cigarette.

"Whaddya want red head?"

Hiro saw the knife. "So…you found out about Shuichi."

Yuki tensed, but remained calm as Hiro approached him. The lights from the hospital making everything a bright as day.

"How long have you known?" Yuki's tone was blank. Uncaring. "I've known for about as long as Shuichi's been doing it. The last scar count I did on him was ten, but since he doesn't let me see his stomach I bet there somewhere around twenty unless he decided to stop for whatever reason."

Yuki eyed him. "Fourteen."

Hiro nodded and looked up at Shuichi's window. "Then that means the last time he did it was six months ago; after you and him got back together."

Hiro watched the calculating gaze that crisscrossed his expressions. "Tell me one thing Nakano."

Hiro snorted and crossed his hands over his chest. "Depends on what it is."

"Well then…I have two things to ask you. Here's the first one: Why didn't you stop him?"

Hiro sighed and looked at the pavement. Ants crawling in between the cracks. "Because talking to him about it would've made it worse."

Out of the corner of Hiro's eye he saw Yuki's jaw tighten. "There was this one scar that hit home with me. It was in a haphazard Y unless you looked at it just right it would look simply like you fell and scrapped your stomach on some broken glass. That scar was worse and the others and the closest to his heart. Why?"

Hiro glared at Yuki. "Do I even need to answer that you _Yuki, _who is the one who stole Shuichi's _heart?_"

With that he left. Hiro knew this might end badly…but as long as Shuichi got the help he needed.

Yuki stood there. His cigarette long forgotten, and was smoking on the ground.

The blond man walked back into the hospital stepping onto the cigarette. When he walked past the nurses he heard their giddy whispers.

With one hard look he shut them up. Every passing moment was another moment away from Shuichi, and who knows what was running through that over-reactive mind of his.

He threw the door open to see Shuichi looking at his leg, his expression utterly and toataly filled with defeat and anguish.

Tears fell from his eyes relentlessly and Yuki sighed. He had been gone what? Ten, fifteen minutes?

Yuki opened his mouth to call him a moron, but closed it again. Damn… this was proving to be a problem. "Shuichi." He called out his lovers name softly and calmly. Making it sound like a light caress.

Lightning quick, Shuichi's head shot up to see Yuki and then he rubbed his eyes, trying to make his tears stop.

"Y-Yuki…I….I'm…"

Yuki sighed and went to Shuichi's side and touched his cheek gently.

"Why wouldn't you tell anyone about how you felt…?"

Shuichi blinked as more tears fell down his already stained cheeks.

"You said to me one time, "No one ever wants to be left in the dark." This may be hard for you to believe, but that goes for me too right? I left my most important secrets out of your life and it ate me alive. Imagine to what this baggage is doing to you."

Shuichi sobbed a bit, before leaning into Yuki's touch. Yuki waited for Shuichi to calm down some more. Till the sobs were only hiccups.

Yuki hesitated; after all of his experiences with the kid, this was as much as he knew to do.

Yuki racked his brain about what this moron would do to him. He would always…ALWAYS pry about what was wrong…it was wrong….but maybe that's what is what Shuichi needed.

"What caused this kid?" He winced at the hurt expression Shuichi showed him in return to his question. "Shuichi… what made you want to keep everything to yourself like you were…?" He used a softer tone this time, allowing Shuichi to feel his unrest about the situation.

Shuichi looked at Yuki, an expression he never hoped to see was there…it was an expression Yuki himself used in a time of distress.

"I just….didn't want anyone to worry about me is all…I was so adamant about wanting to sing so badly, and yet I was constantly making mistakes." Yuki sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed and let Shuichi continue.

"I knew it was my fault…but I didn't know how to deal with it without sounding like I was a whining child. I wanted to stay the way I was so I wouldn't worry anybody… When I figured out I could punish myself for all my stupid actions…I set rules. Rules I never let myself break even if I was desperate to release my worries through this kind of punishment…"

Yuki sighed, leaning forward and looked Shuichi in the eyes. "Being overwhelmed is natural Shuichi. No one would've thought you were a whining kid. You do that enough when you AREN'T overwhelmed. Bad luck is a serious matter to you right?"

Shuichi looked stunned and he puffed out his cheeks and looked away muttering. "So mean…"

Yuki smiled lightly. At least Shuichi was acting a little bit more like himself…or at least the self he wanted to show everyone.

**Well isn't this a lovely long chapter? I think I did pretty good, but do please inform me of amy mistakes I made. I know, I know, I said. "" Instead of "Kumagoro" I felt it made better sense here. Am I keeping all of the characters in..well character? Well...minus Shuichi. XP Remember: Read review and Rainbows need rain! Until next time~ ;)  
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	3. Chapter 3

Ryu To The Rescue!

Shuichi watched Yuki sleeping in the chair next to his bed. Slowly, the pop star closed his eyes and felt his surroundings, relaxing.

It was quiet, and peaceful….his leg throbbed. Shuichi opened his eyes again from the sudden twitch that he couldn't control.

It had been one day since Yuki had found his flaw. Since then the IV had been removed from him, and he was aloud mobility.

A wheel chair was stationed beside the bed as well as a mandatory means of getting around…because of his leg. The issue with his leg wasn't even SUPPOSED to happen. Did Fate just hate him that much?

With a heavy sigh, Shuichi eased himself into it and he wheeled himself out of the room as silently as he could, so he wouldn't wake up his lover.

The hallway was oddly silent and no one was awake. He passed by the occasional nurse who greeted him with a. "Good evening Shuichi-san."

He smiled back, replying with an "Evening." and continued on to his destination.

He had learned that this hospital had a large window at the top floor that look over the sparkling city of Tokyo.

It was a captivating sight that he wanted to see….

He entered the elevator, and waited for the doors to close. He closed his eyes again. Yuki hadn't talked about his flaw….In fact they had barley shared an actual conversation. Just small talk, or silence that had threatened to crush Shuichi.

Shuichi looked at his hands in his lap. Yuki was mad at him again and it was his fault…every bad feeling that Yuki is, or has felt in the past few moths has been nothing BUT his fault. He had to _stop_ hurting the one person he loves to much…. If he wasn't such a moron-

Shuichi shook those thoughts out of his mind. If he thought like that, he would get the urge to act upon his flaw. When he acted on his flaw it just makes him worse

_But it makes everything okay, and no one ever seemed to notice or care- _No….No it didn't. It made NOTHING okay….Yuki would be even angrier at him if he punished himself. Yuki would _never_ allow Shuichi the light of day again. But would that really be a bad thing…?

The elevator jolted to a stop and Shuichi saw the doors opening, and he rolled out, going straight to the window.

When he reached it, he stopped and looked out at it, also seeing his own reflection. He felt…happier at the moment, like things were really going to be okay! Shuichi chuckled (more like giggled) and he then laughed.

When it died down, he couldn't stop from smiling and he looked out the window. Things were going to be okay….they were going to be okay.

As he thought more about it…words began to form in his head, and he thought more about it….he thought harder on the words that bubbled from his heart and he smiled.

A new song…perfect.

Shuichi rolled back into his room, and Yuki was waiting for him, plainly awake.

"Y-Yuki." The blond looked at him with a curious expression and sighed, waiting for him to continue. "How, how long were you waiting for me…?"

Yuki shrugged and took a long drag of his cigarette, then let it out.

"Not sure…just noticed you were gone." Shuichi nodded and started towards his bed, Yuki steped forward and lifted Shuichi, carefully placing him, under the sheets.

"There…now stay like that." Shuichi nodded, also blushing from the care and attention Yuki was giving him. It was welcome though, Yuki didn't always give him such treatment.

Shuichi looked at Yuki, who looked back at him. Shuichi then looked at his lap.

"Yuki…?"

"Mm?"

"Are…you mad at me still?" Shuichi didn't look up. He felt that pit opening up again at his statement. If Yuki was mad at him for his flaw, then he had messed up big time.

"Of course I'm mad you dunderhead." Shuichi felt like he was going to cry, when Yuki lifted his chin and looked him in the eyes. "But I'll get over it. Right now, you need to heal and get past this crap you've built up inside."

Shuichi nodded, and Yuki took his cigarette out of his mouth and kissed him.

The kiss was soft and loving, it made Shuichi's tears spill, and they weren't the usual ones. They were ones with the true pain he felt. Not the façade he always showed everyone, the winy kind of tears, or the ones that showed the kind of person he wanted to be.

_I wonder if Yuki…or even Ryuichi, ever feels like this…?_ Shuichi wondered, as soon as the kiss ended. Sleepiness saturated Shuichi, making him realize the exact extent of how much his body was hurt. How could he be getting so tired so easily..?

Yuki must have noticed, for he laid him down more and stroked his cheek. "Go to sleep Shu…"

Shu…how long had it been since he was called by that name…? Shuichi didn't try to remember, sleep had already claimed him.

Yuki watched his lover sleep and he sighed, pushing his fingers through his hair. He knew this was going to take more that him paying a little bit more attention to the pink-harried moron.

This was going to have to be a self-esteem boost, and since Yuki didn't really see Shuichi all day he was going to need help.

He waited a couple of more minutes and exited the room. He walked around and he made his way outside, the sky still dark, you couldn't even see the stars from the lights of the city.

Yuki sighed feeling even more frustrated, and he heard a very loud and distinct, "Pssst!"

Not reacting to the annoying noise he got out a cigarette and lit it taking out a long drag, letting it out slowly, and again there was another, but louder "PSST!"

Yuki could only think about who that was. The only one who even _resembled _the annoyingness of his lover was the one and only: Ryuichi Sakuma.

Looking out of the corner of his eyes, down at a bush, he actually saw big cow eyes starring at him, and a pink rabbit peaking out of the deep green leaves.

"Yuki-saan, PSSST." Yuki looked away out into the street.

"Whaddya want Sakuma?" The pop-star stood up quickly leaves going everywhere.

"I wanna know if Shu-chan is okay!" The supposed adult looked childishly up at Yuki. He sighed, and took another drag of his cigarette in order to collect his thoughts. He didn't think telling Ryuichi would help with anything, but then again this man WAS Shuichi's friend, perhaps having Ryuichi in on what's going on with Shuichi…will inspire Ryuichi to help his lover.

"There's… a lot buzzing around in that brat's head. So much he thinks he needs to punish himself for his 'stupid' actions." Yuki wasn't willing to tell Ryuichi anymore details, because it wasn't his place to tell exactly _how_ Shuichi was punishing himself.

Ryuichi was paused and he hugged the rabbit close to him looking scarred and starring at the gorund. "Punishing himself…as in…hurting himself…?"

Yuki sighed and tossed his spent cigarette on the ground and snuffing it out with his foot.

"I can't tell you that. I've gotta go home and work…You can go talk to him, try to talk some sense into him." Yuki looked up at the general direction of Shuichi's room and left. Hopping Ryuichi could help Shuichi.

When Shuichi woke up, nobody was there.

Groggily he sat up, rubbing the remaining sleep from his eyes and he looked around the sun lit room.

The chair where Yuki had been sitting was now empty with no trace that his lover had ever sat there.

Shuichi sighed again, and looked at his wheel chair. Should he risk trying to check out while no one was there, or should he just simply wait in endless boredom?

The question was answered for him when Ryuichi pranced into the room. "Shuichi!" His entergetic call echoed through the building, and probably throught all of china.

This brought a smile to the singers face. "Hey, Ryuichi." The brunet paused and laughed at nothing in particular and sat down next to his bed.

"Feeling better?" His face shown his chilidish curiosity and Shuichi nodded. "I do feel better. My leg still hurts a little."

Ryuichi found and looked at the covers with a mild thinking face, it became serious and he looked at Shuichi with worry. "You didn't do it on pourpose right? It was just an accident?"

Shuichi flinched at his words, but tried to hide it. It wasn't exactly a _false _statement. But Shuichi's intentions for the knife was indeed to enact _pain_. Just…not the way it had turned out.

Shuichi reached out and placed a hand on his friends shoulder and gave the most reassuring smile he could muster. "It was just an accident. It'll heal, probably scar, but it will heal."

It was going to be a long shot, but Shuichi did hope that Ryuichi wouldn't hear the slight shake in his voice, or the lonliness and pain of his stupidity in his eyes. He gazed into the lead singer of Nittle Grasper's scrutinizing eyes, that just _seemed _to be searching for the flaws that Shuichi ever so despratly wanted to hide from the sight of everyone. Even Yuki.

"I don't think I belive you Shuichi." Ryuichi took Shuichi's hand and flipped it to where it was palm up.

"Being a singer is difficult, and it leads to stress." He looked at the palm and then the wrist still searching for something that Shuichi was unsure of what he was looking for, but the brunet still continued. "Stress can do many things to people, it can lead to mental break downs, blow-ups, even have you become withdrawn from everyone. In certain cases, of certain people, the stress may be caused by the belief that, the person in question, is feeling like the burden. Do you follow Shuichi?"

Shuichi shivered and the feather-like touch that Ryuichi used as his hand trailed up his arm, searching. Shuichi just _knew_ that if he found the scars his friend would be angry, but there was no way that Ryuichi would ever think about looking at his stomach right?

Ryuichi had paused on his shoulder, and repeated it a bit slower. "Do you follow my train of thought Shu…?" Shuichi only nodded and he looked at the searching hand. He was afraid of Ryuichi knowing about his flaw. He didn't want any more people knowing about it. It would be just humiliating to know that even his own Rival-Once-Idol had found out something he ever so desperately wanted to hide.

The hand moved down to Shuichi's stomach and Ryuichi paused there and grabbed the fabric of his shirt and looked at Shuichi square in the eyes. "What will I find if I lift this Shuichi?"

"Please don't Ryuichi." It was a garbled whisper, hardly audible, but Ryuichi didn't listen. The fabric was lifted carefully and looked at all the scars that Shuichi had caused himself.

"Shuichi…" Ryuichi scolded, and sighed, letting the cloth fall from his hands. "Can you tell me why you would hurt yourself?"  
>Shuichi felt the tears stinging at the corners of his eyes.<p>

"I..I needed a way to tell myself that it was okay to make mistakes." The tears fell, and Ryuichi placed his hands on either side of Shuichi's face.

"Shuichi….look at me." He slowly brought his eyes to meet the ever-so-serious ones of Ryuichi's .

"Shuichi….what you've been doing isn't good for you. I know that you feel better when you do this…but you always feel worse after you do it right?" Shuichi felt the concern in his voice.

It was…kinda true, but how could he reassure himself it was okay to make mistakes if he couldn't act on his flaw?

"Shuichi?" Shuichi flinched and he then realized he never really answered Ryuichi's question.

"Sorry Ryuichi…I guess I've just never really thought about it before. Shuichi looked at his friend with a lost puppy expression. Ryuichi gave a half smile and released Shuichi patting him on the shoulder.

"Don't worry Shuichi. I'll help you, so will Yuki, Hiro, K, and everyone else. You're not alone, so you don't have to face things alone. Got it?" He drawled out that last part, and Shuichi was a bit stunned. All his friends and co-workers…were willing to help him! It was like a gift he never asked for was given to him!

"But…where do I start?"

Ryuichi laughed. "By getting out of the hospital of course!" Shuichi smiled, a genuine one, that wasn't with his mask. For now..everything was going to be okay. His friends would help him to get his life back into the balance it was meant to be in.

**Hey guys! What did you think? I've gotten soo many favorites, and alerts on this, but no reviews :(. I'm glad though. I've worked hard on this chapter. I want you guys to give me your honest opinion my dear readers, is this suffiecent as an ending or are you all itching for more?**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Egg Shells

Shuichi was wheeled out of the hospital by an energetic Ryuichi, a laid back Hiro, as well as a stoic Suguru. (Not a surprise on ANY accounts.)

All three had come to 'officially get him out of the white Hell' (Hiro's words, to be precise.) and announced that they were going to take him to the country side, to bathe in hot springs, relax and recuperate.

Shuichi was grinning like an idiot (since of course he _was_ most of the time) and there was a large-ish car waiting for them. Hiro opened the door, and who was inside? Yuki! He wasn't particularly paying any attention, and he was reading a book, but when Ryuichi helped Shuichi in the car. Shuichi looked up at Yuki, smiling widely.

"Yuuuukkiiiiii~~~" The pop star cooed, latching into his arm, rubbing his face on the jacket his lover wore, much like a cat would.

Yuki came Yuki came! It was a miracle! Yuki didn't seem to be mad, or anything! They were going to be going on vacation to relax, and it would be with his friends, and YUKI!

The others had followed suit to sit in the car, and everyone was smiling at how energetic Shuichi was. Shuichi smiled more, knowing that he felt better. Things would not go wrong. He would make sure of it.

Shuichi talked about a dream he had about a cow, and a farmer on the planet venus. He was doing all his might to make sure everyone knew he was okay… But on the inside he felt bad for making them go to such an extent for him. Taking away their precious time, just to help _him_ get better...it really made his insides twist in guilt, but he would NEVER show it. He had to show his appreciation for everything they were doing for him!

Ryuichi looked at him with a piercing gaze, the seriousness that Shuichi wasn't used to startling him again, but the expression was replaced with the childishness once more, and Mr. Bear was placed in Shuichi's lap.

"Ryuichi...why-?"

"Mr. Bear wanted to ride in Shuichi's lap! Mr. Bear said he was tired of sitting on Ryuichi's lap, but it's okay since Mr. Bear only wants to make you happy!"

Shuichi laughed and patted the pink rabbit on top of its head. "Why, thank you Mr. Bear."

There was plenty of conversation as the car drove to its destination, and Shuichi was doing his best to be energetic like he usually was, but he felt something in the pit in his stomach, and got the feeling that everyone was avoiding certain topics, walking on eggshells around him as you would say. Where they so worried about him that much that they thought that if they said something that it would make him plummet into despair?

It made him feel bad, like he was wasting their time, making go to efforts that made their lives harder. No...He couldn't think about that, he needed to show them that he was going to pull through this!

When they pulled up to the hot spring, Shuichi was astonished by the sheer SIZE of it! It was like something out of an anime or something!

The expanse of land they were in was just astonishing. They were in a valley like area, and the mountains in the distance seemed to create this sort of bowl around them, the sun was setting creating purple's and pinks, even turning the clouds a pink-bubble gum color that looked like his hair. Sun beams were coming up and out from the mountains...it was a nostalgic sight.

The house itself was beautiful, like stepping back in time. The wood looked faded, but sturdy. There were walkways where you didn't have to step on the ground if you were going from one portion to the building to the other.

Steam billowed up from behind all the parts of the Onsen showing that the hot springs were in fact active, and ready for use.

A woman wearing a Kimono came up to us, her hair tied up in a bun, with a kind smile, one where her eyes. "Welcome to this lovely establishment. I assume this is the Tohma party?"

Yuki stepped forward and nodded. The woman opened her eyes, and they were kind, and wise. "Then come this way." She turned and began to walk into the building. Hiro was having a conversation with Suguru, and Ryuichi was admiring the scenery like the child persona he wore. Yuki walked beside Shuichi, and they were silent. It was consuming him from the inside out. He opened his mouth to say something but fell short. What kinds of things could he talk about with Yuki that wouldn't make him mad? Shuichi tried to think of something...anything, but everything he thought of at one point in his memory had either infuriated Yuki, or Yuki had ignored completely...

Yuki must've known that he was thinking too hard, caused Yuki's arm slid around his waist, and Yuki's glanced a him with soft, caring eyes.

Shuichi could've died right then, and would've been the happiest person in the world, but then again, he was only causing Yuki trouble...what if Yuki didn't really feel like smiling? What if he was forcing himself for Shuichi? Was Yuki only showing this side of himself because Shuichi had nearly bled to death?

Shuichi looked at the ground, still smiling, always keeping the mask in place. It hadn't been like he was _trying_ to die at the time, he didn't even mean to fall...he only had wanted to remind him of his place… that was all.

Shuichi was jarred out of his thoughts when a hand was placed on his shoulder, and he looked up. Yuki was watching him with wariness in his eyes. Was it Shuichi's fault that caused such an emotion?

"Shuichi." It wasn't Yuki who spoke his name. He looked behind him to see Hiro with an even worse expression: Pity. He never wanted his friends to _ever_ pity him from to such seriousness...he never wanted that.

His chest ached, Shuichi felt so distraught. They wanted to help him so bad, but he kept making mistakes. He pushed those feelings away; he pushed them back and locked them away.

He grinned at everyone. "What's with everyone and the gloomy faces!" He said grinning like the idiot he was meant to be. "We're here on vacation! Let's enjoy it!" He slipped into the room they were staying in first to go undress and get a towel so that he could go bath in the hot springs, humming Blind Game as he did.

Shuichi felt their stares on his back, he knew he was only worrying them more, but he ignored them, and opened the door to the hot springs, and jumped into the water.

* * *

><p>Yuki was worried. No. He was downright frightened of Shuichi's behavior towards them. At first it was like the 'normal Shuichi' that everyone had known, but at moments, there was something else. He had seen a lost Shuichi, and sad, and scared one.<p>

Yuki had tried his best to not shake his lover and begged him to tell him that the HELL was the matter, but no...he had retrained himself from doing it.

He even went so far as to act _kind_ and _gentle_ to him, but that only seemed to make it worse. The worst part was when they all were standing outside of their room and Shuichi was at battle with himself, gazing at the floor.

Then like turning a key, everything that made Shuichi...solemn had been pushed away, and he was acting like the 'Old Shuichi.' Ryuichi looked almost distressed by this, and Hiro looked like he wanted to break something.

They all stood there, and when Shuichi jumped in the water, and the sliding door slid shut on its own, Hiro cursed silently, and Ryuichi looked worriedly at the door, and he simply said, "We made him revert."

Suguru was the one most confused. "But what was it that we did wrong?"

Yuki pinched the bridge of his nose. "We worried about him."

Suguru brought his eyebrows together, "I...don't think I understand."

Ryuchi sighed, Yuki noticed that now he wasn't even bothering to act the part of a child. "We were stepping around carefully, like he were made of eggshells. He doesn't want to cause of any trouble. When we started being all wary of what we said and it was like putting pressure on a trigger. The gun fired, and Shuichi is now distressed, hiding what he's feeling."

It was Yuki's turn to curse. How were they supposed to act around Shuichi, if they didn't know how he would react? It was so utterly frustrating! Ryuichi sighed, brushing his fingers through his hair. "At the moment, we need Shuichi to be relaxed around us, without his mask. After that, we'll address his dire situation."

Everyone nodded, and Hiro was the first to move, and he began to undress. "What're you doing?" Hiro huffed, and got a towel.

"Going to the hot spring, what does it look like I'm doing? If we're going to be ANY help to Shuichi, we need to start acting like normal people instead of worried mother hens." Yuki nodded, and did the others.

Ryuichi hurriedly took off his clothes, and in a flurry ran to the open hot spring jumping Shuichi with a loud. "HII!" Shuichi screamed, and then there was laughter. Yuki smiled, but didn't strip like the others were doing. He would watch, he didn't feel like getting wet.

SO he went outside, and sat in a nearby chair, observing everyone. They were laughing and having fun, Suguru looked a little distressed; he must feel out of place, Hiro was laughing at the heaving Shuichi, who was still recovering from the heart attack Ryuichi gave him.

Yuki leaned back in his chair, crossing one leg over the other smiling lightly. Things were going to turn out okay...probably not soon, they had a long ways to go, but it would turn out okay. He would make sure of it. Silently Yuki promised himself that he would NEVER give Shuichi a reason to hurt himself that he would always be there for Shuichi to show his true colors. That's what Yuki wanted. He wanted to KNOW his lover, not just tolerate, to know Shuichi on such a level that even if Shuichi was laughing and smiling with his whole heart, Yuki would still be able to tell if something was wrong.

His smile got wider, and Shuichi noticed, and he was laughing, and waving at him energetically.

Yes. Yuki, wanted nothing more than to see a TRUE smile on the face of his lover, even his for now. His lover was forcing it, in the end; that smile would come with ease, and Shuichi's pain. Hopefully abolished, if not...then lessened greatly.

**Woow! For just a small plot bunny I'm getting good feedback on it ^~^ Looks like everyone wants me to continue it! So continue it I shall! :) It took me a bit to find a direction I was going to go in, but now I've found one and I hope to update this story sooner, and more often! Remember: Read Review and Rainbows Need Rain! Till Next time~~**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back. Let's Make Way For a Big Black Cat.

Everyone was asleep, and Shuichi was lying next to Yuki, his chest was rising and falling gently. It was a good thing that he wasn't having a nightmare. The cicadas chirped outside the room, moonlight washing everything in a silvery color.

Shuichi sat up, gazing at his lover. The moonlight hit his face just right to where Yuki looked like an angel, innocence that no one could touch, but his Yuki...he had to kill someone. Someone he had loved, someone who would've hurt him if he hadn't of stopped him.

The hole in his chest began to open up again, and he clutched his shirt over his heart. Why did he have to be so weak? Why was it he couldn't prove to others and himself that he was strong...like Yuki?

Shuichi took his other hand and grabbed his hair tugging on it, bringing his knee's to his chest, the tears that had been building in his eyes fell down his cheeks.

Yuki was strong, Shuichi wasn't. He was a whiny brat who didn't-

"Shuichi...what's the matter?" He had woken up Yuki. His lover's ruffled hair glistened in the moonlight and his expression was worried. He reached out and brushed his fingers across his cheek.

"What're you thinking about Shuichi...?" He took Yuki's hand and held it against his cheek, smiling.

"How much I love you." It wasn't a complete lie, and his voice trembled a little bit, and Yuki sighed, sitting up more, leaning in, kissing Shuichi gently on the lips, and stared into his eyes.

"It's more than that...I know, you may cry a lot...but, I can tell the difference between your...usual crying, and when it's a serious kind of cry." Shuichi bit his lip, he didn't want to tell Yuki how much of a coward he was...he didn't want him to know the dark feelings that festered inside of him...how could he tell Yuki things that even he himself didn't understand?

"I...Yuki...it's all mixed up..." He felt more and more frustrated from this and he bit his lip again, but harder. Yuki sighed and pried his lip from his teeth.

"Calm down Shuichi...I'm not asking you to bare you darkest parts of your soul. I just want to know what's bothering you right now." Shuichi took a deep breath, and told him. He told him that it felt like the hole in his chest had been closing, but torn back open because he felt like a coward, how he couldn't deal with the small things in life when Yuki himself had went through more.

When Shuichi stopped the tears had started flowing again, and Yuki kissed them away, his frown marred his face in deep thought, and Yuki sighed, running his hand through his blond locks.

"You never do things half assed do you kid?" Shuichi looked up in surprise, as well to of had his lips captured.

It was soft, gentle and a reassuring kiss. When Yuki had released him, Shuichi felt a bit better.

"Come on, let's wake the others up and talk about this." Talk? He didn't want to talk! There was no reason to talk about something like this!

"But Yuki-"

"No 'but's' Shuichi, we want, and WILL help you."

With a defeated sigh Shuichi slumped and began to walk out of the room, since Yuki was standing at the door, waiting for him to go first.

So Yuki and Shuichi did the tenative job of waking everyone up. Shuichi had expected them to be mad at him for interrupting their sleep, waiting for explosions of protests and how Shuichi was being a pest; but it seemed to be fine with them; even Ryuichi didn't complain.

They sat in the living room area, and Shuichi repeated to the group what he had told Yuki...after he declined and insisted everyone go back to bed, only to be met with intimidating glares, and Suguru saying, "We got up for this, I'm not going back to sleep till you tell us what this is about."

There was a pause and Hiro leaned forward and looked deep into Shuichi's eyes, into his very soul. Shuichi for a moment thought that Hiro was going to steal it or something-

"Let me tell you this Shuichi-" Did everyone now think it was funny to interrupt his thoughts? "-when we go through something tramatic, we'll go through a ruff patch and have some scars," To make his point he pointed his finger at Yuki who was looking at the 'Y' shaped haphazard scar closest to Shuichi's heart, since of course Shuichi was wearing a loose robe. His face flushed and he quickly tightened his robe, silently berating himself for being careless, and Hiro continued.

"But the fact is: It takes time to heal the wounds that will eventually make the scars."

Yuki picked up where Hiro left off, his voice low, and calm staring into Shuichi's eyes as well. "It took me many years- with _help_ to get my wound to heal...and you're more sensitive to things so you have many wounds that need healing, Shuichi."

Why couldn't they see that he didn't need the help? He was perfectly fine! He hadn't tried to kill himself, wasn't wishing for his life to be over...he just wanted a form of punishment to make himself remember it was okay to make mistakes.

Ryuichi picked up after that in a serious tone, but the childishness never really left. "You also never ask for help unless it's really bad. So you're wounds might as well be infected especially since you've been letting them fester like you have, you might be okay right now, but in time the infection will spread- get worse, until you can't take it anymore and it's too late for mild help, like you need right now."

Shuichi hugged his knee's to his chest and looked at the wood flooring, how could things end up bad? He knew there was a problem...he needed to fix the problem but he just kept interrupting the daily lives of those he never wanted to bother!

"Shuichi..." It was Hiro, he reached out and lightly ruffled his hair like he had many times before...before everyone knew his secret...his flaw, "We don't want you to get worse, to feel like you need to die. Right now you're in a stage that help can be issued easily, you're not alone, and you're _ definitely _not a bother, okay?"

Shuichi looked up, and dejectedly nodded to his friend. They wanted to help, he didn't _want_ them to help...but he was wasting their lives by fighting the help they were giving him, so what other choice did he have but to just swallow it down?

He tried to smile, but it didn't reach his eyes...he didn't want to feel like this anymore. He wanted to overcome these things, but how? How was he supposed to feel something that was so hard now?

After that small fiasco, everyone was off to bed, and Shuichi and Yuki were alone once more.

"Shuichi?" Yuki asked with a cautiousness tone, and touched his cheek. He had been off in his own little world, and jumped a little when Yuki touched him lightly. For a moment he thought, 'Have they come for more?' Realization hit him like a rock when it was only Yuki who had gently, and lovingly touched him.

Yuki's thumb traced Shuichi's cheek bone and the singer shivered, it wasn't them, Shuichi was safe...Yuki wasn't gone, and he was being loved by Yuki. He could do this.

The next day was better, the sun was shinning, and laughter could be heard throughout the Hot Springs. Suguru and Hiro did a battle of ping pong, while Ryuichi soaked in the hotspring with Shuichi and Yuki.

The day was filled with laughter and fun, Shuichi actually felt like his old self again, but it couldn't last long though. It never did.

He was alone in the hot spring when there was thunder in the distance. "Shuichi!" It was Hiro. "Better come inside, it doesn't look good out there."

"Coming!" Shuichi smiled, got up, and tied a towel around his waist when he heard something rustle in the bushes. He paused and looked at it, perhaps it was a bunny rabbit? Slowly he edged over to the bush, and took a deep breath and pushed away the branches of the bush in one swoop, the space below was completely-

"Shuichi! What're you doing over there?" The sound of Hiro's voice all of a sudden made Shuichi jump a bit. Really? What was with everyone and interupting his thoughts! He laughed a bit hesitantly and turned around.

"Sorry, thought I saw something in the bushes, must've been scared off by me!"

Hiro stared, then laughed.

"Think it could've been a turtle?"

"I thought it might be a rabbit." Shuichi said, running his fingers through his wet hair.

Hiro rose an eyebrow, "Shuichi, stuff like that only happens in manga and anime."

Shuichi grinned, "They _also_ tend to happen in movies and books!"

Hiro ruffled Shuichi's hair, "But this is real life buddy, so...no, I don't think it was a rabbit."

Shuichi shrugged, and walked back into their room, what Shuichi didn't was the black cat on the fence with green eyes watching him. It washed itself a bit and hopped off the fence.

*Skip*

The next morning Shuichi got up before everyone else, and he stretched. Wouldn't they be leaving soon? Who know's, they could be staying till a day before the concert.

Shuichi stripped and took a couple of towels to the hot spring area, and- stopped.

It was pouring outside.

How had he not noticed? As he thought about it..it _had_ been darker than usual out here...Shuichi sighed, maybe he could relax in the rain?

He shivered, and shook his head from that thought. He had had, one too many unpleasant experiences when it came to the rain. He didn't want becoming sick more than he already had, to add onto that list.

As Shuichi turned to head back, there was a strangled 'nya' from the outside and Shuichi looked outside again. A cat?

He went to the door that led to the outside and he heard the pitiful sound again... there was a CAT outside! It was getting soaked, and was probably cold; he couldn't _leave_ it out there! It was pouring, and thundering so much even the sun couldn't shine through the clouds!

"Hold on kitty, I'm coming!"

He dropped the towel, and plunged into the fray and gasped at how cold the water was against his skin!

He shivered but searched for the poor cat that was stuck out here, he was limping but he wasn't exerting himself _too _badly. _Man...Yuki's going to be pissed once he finds out that I'm out here!_

A pitiful yowl came from the bushes, so Shuichi made his way over to the shrubbery. Pushing the branches aside, he first noticed the piercing color of the cat's eyes. They were green, a luminescent color.

Shuichi reached down, and the cat stayed put, so quickly he scooped up the poor kitty, and cradled it to his chest.

A thunderclap echoed in the sky, making him jump, and he looked up. "I better hurry back inside.."

Trotting his way back to the door, he reached for his towel, and focused on the- black, yes the fur was black, and swaddled the poor thing, his body was racking itself with violent shivers, and Shuichi realized just how _cold_ he was.

He sneezed and made his way to the bathroom so he could get some hot water going, and get a towel for himself.

"Shuichi?" Said person jumped at the call of his name, and turned swiftly to see who had called to see none other than his lover Yuki smoking a cigarette with wide surprised eyes.

Was Yuki going to be mad? How could he explain this without Yuki thinking he was a total moron? Scratch that. How could he tell Yuki the reason he was soaked was because of a-

"What do you have in your arms Shuichi?"

What to say, what to say?

"A towel." He responded.

Yuki rose a quizzical eyebrow. "And what is _in_ this towel? It's moving."

Shuichi yelped and tried to get a better hold of the wriggling cat, but it only wiggled more, popping it's head out for the world to see.

"Haha...you see Yuki." Shuichi started, "I...saved a cat." He didn't want to tell Yuki his original plan was to take a bath.

"Why are you only wearing your shorts then?" That...was going to be harder to explain without showing his oblivousness.

"Well, you see Yuki, I was walking around without a shirt on when I heard this-"

"You intended to take a bath... weren't you?" Yuki's tone was dark, and his eyes were hidden by his bangs.

"Yuki, I- I didn't notice-" Yuki's hand covered the lead singers mouth, and Yuki's shoulders were shaking. Was his angry? Did he do something wrong again?

What he didn't expect were the chuckles that escaped Yuki's lips. Shuichi stood there shell shocked as the laughter got louder. Yuki showed him his eyes, and they were sparkling with mirth.

"Y-you really are an idiot aren't you?"

Shuichi puffed his cheeks out, even though they were behind a hand, but that made Yuki laugh even harder. When was the last time Shuichi had heard his lovers laugh? A month? Two?

Shuichi smiled, and got an idea. He grabbed Yuki's hand, and began to kiss the palm. Looking at Yuki's with mischief.

Yuki gave out what could only be described, and a giggle-groan. Yuki tugged his hand away, and kissed Shuichi's forehead gently. "What am I going to do with you...?"

Shuichi grinned, and kissed Yuki full on the lips. "Plenty of things...some of them involve-"

"Not on that leg." Yuki cut in with a stern expression, and he turned away to mumble, "..and not when others can plainly hear us..." Shuichi blushed at the statement, then broke down into giggles. Yuki was semiconscious? Who knew!

The cat mewled and Shuichi looked down at it. "I better get this little guy dry."

Yuki shook his head and took the black mass away from Shuichi. "No, you go take a warm bath, and I'll dry this cat. There's no need for you to risk getting pneumonia when you're _already_ healing. Go, Shoo." Yuki waved Shuichi away, and said singer sulked to hte bathroom, turning the hot water on to fill the tub so he could warm up his body and relax.

Once the water was filled in, and he added the oils he wanted, turning the water a green-ish color, he slipped in it, and moaned in at the heat relaxing his muscles.

For a while he just soaked in the tub, letting his thoughts wander from one thing to another.

Like...what all had happened to him in the rain. But he shook his head wildly at the thought, and dunked himself in the tub, forcing himself to stay beneath the surface, loving the feeling of the water caressing him.

If only he could stay under here where it was safe...then he wouldn't worry anyone, and he could dream up any reality he wanted...

He stayed there until his bodily instincts forced him to rise took over, and gasped out loudly in the bathroom, panting to get precious air back into his lungs. He realized that it may not of been the best idea to nearly drown himself...

He sighed, and leaned back to look at the ceiling... It was okay if he could doze-

There was a loud screech, and yells from beyond his door, and Shuichi sat up curiously, and got out of the tub, and quickly dried himself off, and exited the bathroom after he put on a robe.

He was drying his hair when a black mass of fur jumped into his arms, and burrowed into the crook of his elbow, purring.

Stunned, he looked up to see that Hiro, and Yuki's chests were heaving and there was a crazed look in their eye as they stares at Shuichi's 'problem'.

"Shuichi.." Hiro panted. "That cat is evil."

Shuichi looked from the purring mass in his arms to his best friend and then to his lover, but the only thing he could think of saying was: "Huh?"

***Peaks out* Uh...Hi! Don't be mad! Pleeeaaaassssseeee don't be mad...I just had to find my bearings! I know where things are going now...but I'm just having trouble, _getting_ there. I even made the chapter extra long! Well...not by much, but I made it longer! I'll try and get the chapter updated as soon as I can, yeah?**

**Remember: Read, Review and Rainbows Need Rain! Till Next Time~~**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: What is in a Name?

Shuichi laid back, and held the kitty he had saved above him, the black mass purring, and docile. He seemed to be in a much better mood with the cat. But if he allowed Shuichi to keep it, that evil Demon might ruin the apartment.

Yuki meanwhile, read a book, writing notes down for his review for this drivel that his editor was making him do.

"Hm...what should I name you...?" Shuichi questioned out loud.

Without missing a beat Yuki answered- "Nothing, cause that cat would be nothing but another thorn in my side if you keep it."

In answer to the statement like the last five times he whined, "Aww Yuuuukiiii, this poor kitty needs a home! Pllleeeeeaaaaasssseee." Shuichi had placed the cat down, in favor to hug, and nuzzle Yuki from behind. Keep strong. Don't give in. (His will was crumbling...he just didn't want to admit it yet.)

"Please~"

"No."

"Pllleeeeaaassseee~"

"I said no."

"I'll take care of it by myself if I have to~"

Yuki sighed, and shut the crappy poor excuse of a novel, and turned a serious gaze onto his novel. Cat's were high maintenance. A goldfish would be fine, a cactus or a Venus-Flytrap, even better! But a cat? Shuichi was more than enough of a pet to take care of...

"Why is it that I don't belive you?"

Shuichi's eyes widened to an unbelievable size, and got on all fours like a puppy. "Please? I'll feed 'im and clean his litter box ev-e- ry-day!"

Yuki sighed again, resolve utterly destroyed as he gave into the pink-haired pop-star's request and keep the devil spawn, and pet his 'dog'. "I never would've taken you for a cat person-" Shuichi tackled him to the ground and try and have his cheek erode away along with his, a mantra of "Thank you" being repeated in rapid succession.

Shuichi abruptly stopped and sat up. "Hey, Yuki?"

"hm?" Yuki said, making sure his face and hair were in their rightful places.

"Why do you hate the kitty so much?"

Yuki sighed.

"When you left me with that cat, everything went to hell...

_Yuki watched the back of his lover enter the bathroom, and he sighed looking quizzically down at the cat that had risked his lovers life._

_The green eyes starred back, with a humor in it that irritated him to no end. This was going to be a problem, Shuichi might want to keep this ball of fur._

_"What you have there Mr. Eiri?" Yuki's eyebrow twitched and looked up to see Hiro who's hair was in dire need of a good brushing._

_"A cat. Shuichi saved the damn thing."_

_Hiro chuckled. "Sounds like Shuichi alright. Here, give it here and I'll dry it off." Yuki was perfectly willing to relinquish his custody of the feline, but when he held the cat out to be taken it began to growl and hiss._

_Hiro, being the foolish man Yuki was aware he was, still took the cat gently drying the fur, the cat seemed to calm down a bit, but watched Hiro with careful eyes, and then turned, a -glare? At Yuki. Like it was blaming _him_ for its predicament._

_He gave it a look that said, 'What? _I_ didn't get you wet.'_

_For the rest of the time, it's gaze followed something and it's tail swished hypnotically, and as Hiro finished up, all hell broke loose, it clawed and jumped out of Hiro's arms running for the doors, but Yuki had the presence of mind NOT to let that cat get soaked again. _

_The cat hissed, and darted around Hiro, and it was then that he noticed...a mouse. The poor thing ran ran in the opposite direction. "There's a mouse!" Hiro, the ever captain of obviousness shouted, and now tried to save it. The evil cat seemed just as determined to eat it, but Yuki was also scrambling to save it. _

_Unable to catch the mouse, Hiro changed tactics, and tried to scoop up the black fur ball- almost, almost- nope, and then Shuichi came out of the bathroom. _

_The Damn cat, bee lined for the pinked haired idiot, and jumped into his arms...PURRING!_

"And the rest is History." Yuki looked upon his lover who was starring in compelte concentration.

"Nezumi!" He cried out with utter glee. After the initial sprout of surprise had faded Yuki realized that the word was to _name_ the cat. Dammit...but he _had_ agreed to keep it, so with a heavy sigh he thought about the name choice.

"Rat? You really want to name a _cat_ after it's prey a_ rat?"_

Shuichi laughed and pet the cat who was glaring at Yuki as if daring to defy Shuichi. What the hell is this cat's problem?

Yuki sighed, and reopened the book. "Fine. Nezumi it is." Shuichi whooped and began to play with the cat. Shuichi didn't see the smile Yuki had on his lips, or so he thought.

Some time passed, and Yuki was _almost_ done with the book, he was on the last ten pages when Nezumi decided that Yuki should pay attention to him!

..._Nezumi_ crawled onto his lap and began to knead his legs with its claws, starring at him. If he could just bear with the pain for a little- "NYA!" Oh, Kami, it's making noises at him.

"Shuichi, get your cat off of me."

Shuichi watched him for a moment, thinking about it, and then he had the..._generosity_ of hopping up, and saying, "Nope! I think I'm going to let you and Nezumi bond for a little while!" With that said, he exited the room.

Dammit all to hell.

"SHUICHI!" When there was no answer and Yuki felt a headache beginning, but he decided it wasn't worth it, there were more important things to deal with. Like his problem in the form of a cat.

He glared down at it, and it meowed. The sound made his eyebrow twitch, and his bad mood worsen. "You _really_ are being a-"

"KITTY!" Came a shout from the door, and there stood Ryuichi Sakuma with a delighted expression on his face, and he dove- grabbed the damn cat, and began to cuddle it.

For Yuki's joy, the cat itself looked thoroughly disturbed, but was too stunned to do anything about it.

Ryuichi continued to coddle, and the damn cat melted like butter, and began to purr to start some motor boat somewhere!

Yuki sighed. At this rate he wasn't going to get anymore work done, and Ryuichi had a handle on the cat so it would be better to go keep an eye on Shuichi.

"Wait Yuki!" Ryuichi cried, and Yuki paused to look at the ever-childish signer, and he asked. "What's the kitty's name?" His eyes, wide, and expectant of the answer.

"Nezumi." Yuki said flatly, and left the room, Ryuichi for some odd reason squealing with freakin' joy.

He _really_ needed a smoke...

Yuki sighed, hearing Shuichi shouting out every time he missed the ball in ping-pong, Hiro was playing the Guitar, and the kid singer-popstar was squealing over a cat named after a rat.

Forget the cigarette; he needed an aspirin.

**I know I know, it's short, but I thought this was an excellent place to stop. ^^" Next time I update I promise it to be longer! *Determined face* Remember: Read Review and Rainbows Need Rain! Till Next Time~**


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